The process of divorce involves not only legal procedure and the applicable laws, but also brings to bear upon it the particular personalities of the parties involved. When a marriage has broken down, it is not uncommon that parties are worried about their futures, and those fears often manifest themselves as anger and resentment projected towards the other spouse, other family members, co-workers and unfortunately sometimes, the children.

One of the things that I find quite common is that during a marriage, there has been a psychological “power shift” from one spouse to the other, incrementally over time, and this power struggle results with one spouse ultimately becoming perceived by the other spouse as being the more powerful spouse with that other spouse then feeling diminished, degraded, isolated, hopeless and often depressed.

The need to control is often the root of why one spouse seeks to gain “power” over the other spouse and this need for control is, as the psychological literature indicates, a possible indicator that the “powerful” spouse might be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

Any divorce is challenging.  Dealing with issues of child custody, parenting time, spousal support, distribution of assets and allocation of debt are things that trigger behaviors which may be helpful to the process of divorce but unfortunately, are sometimes barriers to accomplishing a settlement in short order.  Experienced divorce attorneys understand these psychological dynamics and the interplay of them with the divorce process and do what they can to avoid possible pitfalls because of them.

When it comes to divorces involving a narcissist, things get a bit more complicated because of the narcissist’s need to control.  Settlement discussions and proposals require mutual participation by the parties working in good faith to resolve their differences with the aid of qualified counsel.  But where the narcissist must control… as he or she made clear to the other spouse during the parties’ marriage, once demonstrated during settlement negotiations, that impediment may make negotiations that much more difficult or ultimately impossible.  It may be at that point that the parties may have to leave the settlement table and proceed to court.

To better understand how spouses’ personalities and psychology may affect divorces and separations in Nassau and Suffolk County and how your particular facts and circumstances could impact this important issue, you are invited to contact Robert B. Pollack, Esq., principal attorney of The Pollack Law Firm, P.C.

The Pollack Law Firm, P.C., serving clients in Nassau and Suffolk County, is always available to assist and represent parties in divorce and all other matrimonial and family law matters. Please call today to schedule a free consultation: (516) 938-3330.

DISCLAIMER: This article is intended to provide only general information for entertainment purposes and should never be relied upon as legal advice.  One should seek the assistance of experienced matrimonial counsel to assist in explaining the law, options and making important decisions in any divorce, matrimonial or any family law matter.

By Robert B. Pollack, Esq., principal attorney at The Pollack Law Firm, P.C.: Our firm is solely focused on divorce, separation and all phases of matrimonial law, family law and mediation.

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